cM :: MORLEY|DIGITAL

An issue that is close to my heart, and anyone who has gone out drinking with me in this business can attest to this, is the influx of absolutely trashy computer cases.  I’m talking about the gawd-awful, pressed-steel with plastic skin con-jobs that look like dumpsters out of Star Wars or a riced-out import with too much bling and retina-searing aesthetics that make me want to gauge my eyes out with a spoon.  So when I read this article a few weeks ago, I had to cheer.  Finally, someone who not only agreed with me, but was in the industry and was willing to say out loud what we’ve all been thinking.  And after I wrote a post earlier today poking fun of new Asus and GMC chassis and the apparent quest by manufacturers to resurrect Voltron, or even worse, Voltron’s cheap, south-of-the-border knock off, RoBeast - I just had to keep going.  BTW, I’m sure that Thermaltake is working on the body.  There has never been one Thermaltake chassis worth buying.  Period.  I don’t care if it’s the SwordM, Kandalf, Armor, or whatever, I’ve seen it, and Thermaltake sucks, plain and simple.  Awful aesthetics with no attention paid to thermal dynamics, this is nothing more than a marketing company.

This is not a new phenomenon.  I’m sitting here trying to think back to what happened, how did we get here?

Honestly, I think it started with Alienware.  No, it’s not their fault – and personally I think they took a chance and did something commendable with their Predator chassis.  That’s not the point.  What they DID DO was skin a Chenming/Chieftec Dragon chassis with an eye-catching plastic skin.  What followed was the typical orgy of Taiwanese copy-cats trying to cash in on Alienware’s success.

Some of the first tried to mimic the Alienware Predator chassis.  They really looked bad.

But the worst thing is that trash computer builders who should know better started using them in their product lines.  These are companies that are supposed to do due diligence in prior and proper testing and validation of their product lines before they schlep ‘em on the public.  And some of these blinged-out plastic turds that looked like they were done up with a  Bedazzler were not only ugly, but nearly non-functional.  No attention was paid to thermal dynamics, oh no, not when we can have a dragon head on the front!

Getting back to the system builders – these were guys that did not have a premium brand image in the industry.  Instead they took out 1 or 2 page ads in PC magazines advertising cut-rate garbage “gaming systems” sporting PC Chips motherboards and cheap power supplies.  That was then, and these days they just put everything and the kitchen sink in their configurators and hope something sticks.  Please re-read my article “Fear And Loathing In Lost Business,” people.  Getting back to the point, these concocted conflagrations of crappy computer components were all sold in these cheap, plastic toilets passing for computer cases.  The cases were eye catching but lacked substance.  And typically they looked MUCH better in pictures than they did in person.  Whoever did their photography, dude, call me, I have plenty of customers for you.

Let me make an analogy.  If you see a dropped Civic with a Type-R sticker it may or may not be a fast car.  Heck, the person might have even spent $10k tuning it up.  But it’s still a Civic, and when it’s sitting in the drive way you wouldn’t pay it a second glance.  But if I parked a Bugatti Veyron in my drive way (I wish) – you damn well KNOW that’s a bitchin’ car, and I wouldn’t even have to turn it ON.  And you know what, it doesn’t matter if that beefed up ricer is or isn’t faster than a car like that (hahahahahah) – pull up in front of an exclusive club in either and see which one gets you in the door faster.